A Five Star Hypocrite

It seems like no matter where a person works there will always be that one horribly incompetent, obnoxiously abrasive person. When I was forced to sit next to an extremely negative New Jersey style Viking I thought he had to be the worst. I was wrong. A new inept asshole has entered my life via work. I refer to him as Judas. He is an extremely opinionated Christian who takes everything the Bible says literally. I’m just waiting for the day he attempts to stone me for something. I thought I would list some of the things he says because mostly I need to vent, but I also thought I would share the idiocracy. Here are some of Judas’s thoughts on life.

- Star Wars is evil because it is completely based off of Hinduism.
- “Fornication is a sin” (not really specified at all. I guess in general sex is bad?)
- Something to the extent of all homosexuals are pedophiles.
- All Islams should be shot (yes, he does use the word Islams. Apparently he knows nothing of their religion even though he’s ordered their deaths).
- “Harry Potter is mass marketing witch craft to children.”
- When a nice guy we work with describe this woman he liked he mentioned that she was also a Christian. Judas said, “A lot of people say they are Christians when they aren’t. Come judgment day they’ll be in for a surprise. Just because you eat Mexican food doesn’t make you a Mexican.” (wait, that enchilada didn’t make me Mexican!)

See, pure evil.

I Thought Being ‘Crowned’ Was Supposed to Be Fun

Since the mother/daughter beauty pageant-themed reality show first aired, I had planned on posting about it. The trouble is that there was never enough in one episode to write about. Sure the show was full of horrible, obnoxious people, but what else is new with reality television? Each episode focuses on a different challenge that focuses on each team doing something like a talent or answering questions the judges ask. Then the losers get their sashes cut off by a pair of bedazzled scissors.

In the final episode, the four final teams compete in a full out pageant. It was pretty lame. The only plus was that the team I absolutely hated, the Sincere Sexy Redheads (wtf?) got eliminated before the pageant was even over. It was extremely satisfying because the daughter, who was always a bitch blaming her mother for everything, got her sash cut off by the girl she hated most on the show. I can’t really remember the mother/daughter team that ended up winning. They weren’t really memorable at all.

Who knows if this show will be back for a second season. I found the whole season to be pretty dull. I was expecting so much more vapid, cheesy drama. I just didn’t get it. One of the most drama-filled moments on the show occurred when a mother had too much wine and kissed her visiting husband for a while in a visible location (the kiss was extremely chaste). I want to see some bitches slapping each other. What ev. Perhaps next season will be spiced up, if it even gets made.

Drink Special!

I discovered a really great drink the other day. I’m not sure if exists already, but if not, it should. It’s a combination of a mimosa and a screwdriver. Since the only ingredients are vodka, champagne and orange juice, it is really simple to make. I usually put in 3/8 champagne, 3/8 orange juice and ¼ vodka. It really only takes a couple of these to make you good and happy. Two of these after work, and I forget just how crappy my job really is. Even better is to drink a couple while watching America’s Next Top Model. I swear it will change your life. You may not come out more intelligent, but it will be well worth it.

24 and Still Astonishing

Last week the 24th issue of Astonishing X-men hit stands. This series is one of the best comics out today. When I first heard about it, I knew that it had to be fantastic. It’s being written by Joss Whedon who not only turns everything he touches to gold but is also a known x-men fan. He didn’t disappoint. He has put together a really great x-men team, Beast, Cyclops, Emma Frost, Wolverine and the greatest x-man ever, Kitty Pryde. As if this wasn’t enough, he managed to bring Colossus back from the dead. Not only is it great to have him back in the world of the living, but now we get plenty of Kitty/Colossus moments.

Issue 24 is great. I went into it thinking that since it was the sixth in a story line, there would be endings and plenty of closure. There was none of that, but it was still fantastic. It’s great to finally see a likable Cyclops, especially a likable visor-less one. Emma Frost is still being a sassy bitch, but in a great way. Even though we don’t get any Kitty and Colossus lovin, there are still some really nice moments with them.

Giant Size Astonishing is coming out at the end of February, and it will close out the story arch and Joss Whedon’s run. It should be pretty incredible. Once it’s all said and done I’ll reminisce upon some of the finer moments. If you like comics and especially the x-men, check this series out. It really is super great.

Saleishawhat?

The season finale of America’s Next Top Model aired recently, and a new Top Model has been named. Normally I don’t really expect someone talented to win, but this time I think Tyra has let me down even more than normal. I taped the finale and quickly rewound through the end to see who won. When I woke up the next morning I really was convinced I hadn’t watched it and what I was thinking I saw was a result of the several drinks I had the night before. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. The episode started off with the final three, Jenah, Chantal and Saleisha. It was pretty hard to get behind any of them. None really seemed like they should win.

I was kind of routing for Jenah but only because of her resemblance to my favorite Instant Star, Jude Harrison. Her photos were at least good and, until she started crying all the time, was fairly likable. Chantal is cute and sweet but also kind of stupid. She had a few nice shots, but she didn’t really stand out at all. Saleisha never really made sense to me. Tyra and crew talked about how her hair really made her look like a model, but I didn’t get it. When I see her with that haircut I can’t help but think of a wii a friend of mine made. It’s just hard for me to believe that she won. She doesn’t really look like a model at all. Her smushed face gets on my nerves. But really how can I be surprised? She was the one who attended Tyra’s camp for self esteem. From the moment that was mentioned everyone should have known. Girls go to Tyra’s special summer camp and you can be America’s Next Top Model! Well, Saleisha could always turn out to be the next Naima. Then no one will ever really see her around again. Well, I guess we shall soon know, and there are always her My Life as a Covergirl segments to look forward to. At least we won’t be subjected to Jaslene’s cracked out segments anymore.