A Five Star Hypocrite

It seems like no matter where a person works there will always be that one horribly incompetent, obnoxiously abrasive person. When I was forced to sit next to an extremely negative New Jersey style Viking I thought he had to be the worst. I was wrong. A new inept asshole has entered my life via work. I refer to him as Judas. He is an extremely opinionated Christian who takes everything the Bible says literally. I’m just waiting for the day he attempts to stone me for something. I thought I would list some of the things he says because mostly I need to vent, but I also thought I would share the idiocracy. Here are some of Judas’s thoughts on life.

- Star Wars is evil because it is completely based off of Hinduism.
- “Fornication is a sin” (not really specified at all. I guess in general sex is bad?)
- Something to the extent of all homosexuals are pedophiles.
- All Islams should be shot (yes, he does use the word Islams. Apparently he knows nothing of their religion even though he’s ordered their deaths).
- “Harry Potter is mass marketing witch craft to children.”
- When a nice guy we work with describe this woman he liked he mentioned that she was also a Christian. Judas said, “A lot of people say they are Christians when they aren’t. Come judgment day they’ll be in for a surprise. Just because you eat Mexican food doesn’t make you a Mexican.” (wait, that enchilada didn’t make me Mexican!)

See, pure evil.

I Thought Being ‘Crowned’ Was Supposed to Be Fun

Since the mother/daughter beauty pageant-themed reality show first aired, I had planned on posting about it. The trouble is that there was never enough in one episode to write about. Sure the show was full of horrible, obnoxious people, but what else is new with reality television? Each episode focuses on a different challenge that focuses on each team doing something like a talent or answering questions the judges ask. Then the losers get their sashes cut off by a pair of bedazzled scissors.

In the final episode, the four final teams compete in a full out pageant. It was pretty lame. The only plus was that the team I absolutely hated, the Sincere Sexy Redheads (wtf?) got eliminated before the pageant was even over. It was extremely satisfying because the daughter, who was always a bitch blaming her mother for everything, got her sash cut off by the girl she hated most on the show. I can’t really remember the mother/daughter team that ended up winning. They weren’t really memorable at all.

Who knows if this show will be back for a second season. I found the whole season to be pretty dull. I was expecting so much more vapid, cheesy drama. I just didn’t get it. One of the most drama-filled moments on the show occurred when a mother had too much wine and kissed her visiting husband for a while in a visible location (the kiss was extremely chaste). I want to see some bitches slapping each other. What ev. Perhaps next season will be spiced up, if it even gets made.